The PhD Hammer

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Uses: Adding authority to arguments, assembling IKEA furniture, superhero poses, cracking walnuts. . . It’s like a plaque, but wayyyy better.

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“So what do you get for your PhD?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do they give you a nice scepter?”
“No. . . What?”
“Or a crown, shield, orb, you know, something really cool to signify all years of hard work?”
“I get a certificate.”
“Well, that ain’t right.”
I’d like to proudly present, the PhD mallet, achieved by someone dear to me. The flamelet is representative of her research into combustion modeling for the aerospace industry.
In Maple and Padouk.